Thursday, March 30, 2017

Torn

This morning on the bus, I was looking out the bus window, admiring the beautiful Old Town of Tallinn. I observed the sun blanketing the medieval roofs, the majestic stillness of  the bastion towers in the early morning light.  I found myself wondering, is it possible to be in love with a county? I love the culture. I love the language. I love the relaxed pace of life. I love the nature, the cities, the countryside, the people. 

I feel so at home here, even though I am thousands of kilometres away from my place of birth and family. Of course, I miss my family back in Australia terribly. However, I feel this deep sense of connection to Estonia. Is this because it is the motherland of my Grandparents? Is it because life here is simpler and slower than what I was used to? Is it because I can't imagine myself going back to teaching in the government system? Is it because I now have the freedom to explore new counties easily on a regular basis?

I'm caught in a constant tug-of-war between missing Australia and loving my life here. I know my family would love to have me home, but what if my heart remains here in Estonia?

6 comments:

  1. I have felt this exact same way many times. You can love both! You can appreciate your home country and your country of residence. Choosing to be an expat means you get to experience it all! :)

    https://aggiekesler.wordpress.com/

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  2. It's funny where we end up. I like the idea of being in love with a country. I think you just showed it's possible and it's lovely!

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  3. That is such a tough place to be (no pun intended)... choosing between where you hang your hat and where those you love hang theirs. For me, my heart has always been in multiple places, no matter where my hat hangs.

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  4. You can love both. Being in two places is impossible.

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  5. I have been in the place you are. Love for both places.

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